"Few can have any idea how much wear and tear and anxiety of mind and body I had to go through for at lest five years before my wife died. I very rarely ever slept out of our own house, in order that I might be in the way if my wife wanted anything. I have frequently in the depth of winter driven distances of twelve, fifteen, twenty or even thirty miles in an open carriage to speak or preach, and then returned home the same distance immediately afterwards, rather than sleep away from my own house. As to holidays, rest and recreation in the year, I have never had any at all; while the whole business of entertaining and amusing the three boys in an evening devolved entirely upon me. In fact the whole state of things was a heavy strain upon me, both in body and mind, and I often wonder how I lived through it." A quote from this bio-sketch of J.C. Ryle.It may not mean much to most, but this man wrote the first book I ever that could be considered anything near christian theology outside the bible, it was Holiness, I was sixteen with Pantera and Marylin Manson posters on my wall, full of uncertainty to who I was, and full of morbid thoughts and depression, and I had just met the Lord, and was completely undone by Ryle. What is so striking to me in this little quote above is the reality in which a man like Ryle lived for six years with a sick wife, and how crushing it is, to my very immature and chauvinistic views of life and marriage. This has been a small part in deepening my need for greater reality, and responsibility in my life. If I could some up my life lesson for 2008, it would be that my biggest problem isn't my circumstances, it never has been (even though I pray to my loving Father for them to change), it is that I am a hugely selfish sinner. If you know anything about the christian faith at all, you know that there is a river where mercy flows for that problem man, that is the most gracious gift to see, to have eyes to see your sins and shortcomings, and eyes to see the one who dying love changes you from the inside out..
Here is a quote from the first book that started me down an awesome journey on the path of walking with God, in community, even with those who have already gone to glory.
"Would you be holy? Would you become a new creature? Then you must begin with Christ. You will do just nothing at all, and make no progress till you feel your sin and weakness, and flee to Him. He is the root and beginning of all holiness, and the way to be holy is to come to Him by faith and be joined to Him. Christ is not wisdom and righteousness only to His people, but sanctification also. Men sometimes try to make themselves holy first of all, and sad work they make of it. They toil and labour, and turn over new leaves, and make many changes; and yet, like the woman with the issue of blood, before she came to Christ, they feel “nothing bettered, but rather worse” (Mark 5:26). They run in vain, and labour in vain; and little wonder, for they are beginning at the wrong end. They are building up a wall of sand; their work runs down as fast as they throw it up. They are baling water out of a leaky vessel; the leak gains on them, not they on the leak. Other foundation of “holiness” can no man lay than that which Paul laid, even Christ Jesus...
Holiness comes from Christ. It is the result of vital union with Him. It is the fruit of being a living branch of the True Vine. Go then to Christ and say, “Lord, not only save me from the guilt of sin, but send the Spirit, whom Thou didst promise, and save me from its power. Make me holy. Teach me to do Thy will.”
